Again with the “rape culture”

So I’ve been following the new blog created by Ozymandias entitled; No, Seriously, What about teh menz? since I read the “real men” article posted there. Coincidentally I had just recently discovered the men’s rights subreddit just a few weeks earlier. In fact I barely knew anything about reddit until last month. I bring up the men’s rights reddit because the new blog has garnered a little attention there. The majority opinion I have seen about the blog leans towards the blog itself being a complete farce and an affront to male issues. I, admittedly, agreed with this assessment since I learned of the blog’s creation for a few reasons.

1. The blog was influenced from an article written by Ozymandias, a young feminist woman that frequents the blog, Manboobz. While the article points out much of the hypocrisy and discrimination towards men feminism enables, it fails to address the main cause of many male issues, feminism. The website, Manboobz is run by, David Futrelle, a hypocrite who routinely snags comments and articles from websites frequented by MRAs and uses those snagged comments and articles to smear the entire Men’s Rights Movement, painting all of them as misogynists. For the most part, Futrelle will base his opinion of an entire website, such as The Spearhead on the amount of up-votes a comment receives.

I could place a comment on The Spearhead stating something completely irrelevant to the issue of the original post and that comment might receive many up-votes. I have seen plenty of insignificant comments that had nothing to do with anything, posted on the The Speahead and A Voice for Men that received many up-votes. Why is any of this relevant? Because anyone, whether they are a registered member, regular reader, first time viewer, one time viewer, MRA, or Feminist can up-vote or down-vote a comment on these websites. The comments do nothing to reflect the attitudes and or beliefs of the contributors or the regular readers and supporters of these websites at all. However Futrelle would have us believe that because a comment regarding the Thomas Ball incident, which expressed justified anger and resentment bordering on violent reaction towards the government was up-voted, every MRA reader of The Spearhead supports violent actions against the government.

Futrelle shows little concern for the discrimination towards men in the west and does whatever he can to paint those who would advocate for the rights of men as woman haters and routinely ignores the blatant misandry of feminist websites, organizations, and his own commentators. It is worth mentioning that Futrelle does not use the voting system for his comments. I say it is worth mentioning because there is one misandric comment, among many others that I have read from his readers that claims Thomas Ball committed suicide not because he was a broken man, defeated by the misandric feminist system of government that controls the family courts. No. He killed himself only to hurt his ex-wife. Besides that a well known feminist bigot who goes by the screen name, ginmar visited his site for a time. I’m curious to know how many up-votes ginmar’s comments, or Amanda Marcotte’s comments would have received had Futrelle turned on the voting feature. I wonder if he would appreciate it if the opinion of his blog was based on the number of “likes” his bigoted commentators received.

Learning that this is a blog Ozymandias frequents and supports darkened any hopes I had for her website about male issues being genuine.

2. Ozymandias is a feminist. Considering what I have learned from researching feminist beliefs and what they have done to western legal systems and what they are still trying to do, such as placing the burden of proof on the defendant, only in rape trials in the United States and shutting down female prisons in the U.K., I automatically was on the fence about Ozymandias’s intentions. However, the majority actions of a group does not mean every member of that group follows the beliefs that brought about those actions. I don’t know Ozymandias or any of the other contributors to her site personally so I know nothing of the actions they have taken when concerning male issues. What I do know, however, is that every feminist group and organization I have come across upholds the core beliefs of feminism. These beliefs are irrefutably misandric in nature and I explain why in the article I just linked to. So basically any feminist who upholds these beliefs, whether they genuinely care about male issues or not, cannot help men. This fact is proven on Ozymandias’s blog but I will get to that in a minute.

3. Whenever feminists have spoken about male issues they have done so in such a way as to blame either men or the supposed patriarchal society men have implemented. They do this because their number one priority is the defense of feminism. Ozymandias and many of her contributors are no different in this regard. They are incapable of placing any blame on feminism. Sure they can criticize the movement for not taking more action in helping men but they will never admit that the reason many innocent men are arrested and taken from their homes by police when they were defending themselves from their violent female partners is because of the Violence Against Women Act, an act created and supported by feminists. Instead society will be the only thing that takes the blame, which with many feminists is just another way of saying men.

Moving on to the main point of this article, if I actually did have any hopes that Ozymandias’s blog would at least try and advocate for positive solutions to the many problems men face (I didn’t), those hopes would definitely have died once I read the latest article at NSWATM. I won’t link to it. As with Futrelle I won’t help give bigotry and the hatred of men an audience. I linked to the website in a previous article, however that was before I started seeing bigoted feminist theories being pushed.

The latest article is entitled; “Women be safe” vs “Rapists don’t rape”.

Can you guess what this article is about? Well if you thought it was an analogy between the two opposing sides, one being the idea that women have to take responsibility to ensure their safety from criminals just like men do and the other being that all men are potential rapists and we need to “fix” them at young ages, you would be wrong. No this article is about our supposed “rape culture”, even though the author doesn’t spell it out in those words…and how we need to fix men at young ages so their brains don’t “rationalize” rape.

It’s the second argument which we need to look at more closely.  I think the “Women, be safe!” group imagines school curriculum in which a teacher gathers her students and says, “Now boys, when you grow up, you’ll see women and you’ll think they are very pretty.  But you must not rape them, even if you want to!  If she says no, you need to accept that answer and stop there!  No means no!  Rape is bad!”

The author writes this as if those who are opposed to the feminist side of things are overreacting with their opposition. According to Godlessaltruist, feminists don’t want to group young men together and force them to be told that “women are pretty but if you get the urge to rape them, dont!”. The idea is just absurd.

But wait.

Feminists have already fucking done that. In my last article I pointed out how a bigoted male feminist named, Michael Kimmel created a mandatory program for young college men, which tells them that “you know what guys, girls are hot but we as men have to learn that even though they are hot and we want to have sex with them, forcing them to have sex is wrong!”.

This program does just what the NSWATM author, Godlessaltruist jokes about in his post. This program is misandric, this program paints all men as potential rapists, and this program is not fucking optional. So why does the idea of such a program being implemented in grade school seem so farfetched to Godlessaltruist? Maybe because his ideology prevents him from seeing the misandry within his movement? I don’t know. I’m not psychic and wouldn’t presume to know what someone thinks or feels. However, Michael Kimmel is a well known male feminist and his program is also well known so for someone within the feminist movement, claiming to advocate for solutions to male problems, to suggest that the idea of a school program being implemented that blatantly tells young men they are potential rapists is farfetched just seems a little off to me.

But that’s just me.

As we read further we see what Godlessaltruist suggests is the main cause of rape. Get ready for it because you would never guess this is what a feminist thinks the cause of rape is.

From that perspective, appealing to rapists is ridiculous.  But the fact of the matter is, that although rape is a horrific thing, many steps beyond merely “bad”, rapists are still humans.  And they do respond to social conditioning and societal expectations.  This dichotomy where rapists are seen as evil villains cackling maniacally at the thought of women’s lives destroyed while tapping their fingers together in a scheming manner, has no resemblance to reality.

It’s not that all rapists just don’t give a fuck about right and wrong because they all entirely lack a conscience – instead, it’s that many of them have managed to rationalize to themselves that what they are doing is not actually rape, that everyone else is doing it, and thus, that what they are doing is not actually wrong.  This article discusses a study in which men will admit to rape, just so long as you don’t call it that.

Can you see where he is going yet? I can.

And that’s key.  Some of the perpetrators of these attacks aren’t operating on an entirely different moral code from the rest of us – some of them are rationalizing rape against the same moral code we all tend to agree upon!  And when we understand this, it only follows that there are ways to approach things from the “Rapists, don’t rape!” perspective that doesn’t involve gathering little boys around a teacher’s knee and talking to them in a condescending and stigmatizing way that assumes that all little boys will grow up to be rapists if not taught otherwise.  It involves a much broader and more global conceptualization of the problem – that it rests in the attitudes and ideas of the culture as a whole, and that’s where we need to tackle the problem, not by making little boys feel that they are somehow evil simply for being male.  It rests in a culture which is willing to laugh at rape jokes, or among guys who will high-five each other for “scoring” with a drunk woman.  If men are able to rationalize that “it’s not really rape” and “this is how everybody gets laid” then this means that not enough people have challenged their ideas.  And that’s everybody’s problem.

And there it is boys and girls. It’s the “rape culture” out to get us again, encouraging the rape of women since feminists squeezed this steaming pile of bullshit out onto our doorsteps. One can immediately spot a flaw in Godlessaltruist’s reasoning behind our “societal acceptance” of rape right off the bat. Scoring with a drunk chick is not rape. Never has been, never will be. There are plenty of men, young and old, who have friends that will throw parties. There are plenty of men who organize these parties that provide gallons of alcohol because they know a simple fact. That fact is women drink alcoholic beverages of their own free will. Now if someone were to make the argument that a guy used beer to get a woman drunk so he could take advantage of her that could be considered rape. But only if said guy got the woman to drink that beer without her knowledge. Wait a minute…that bullshit scenario has already been debunked. So what was the next scenario? Another scenario that is already having its “epidemic” status disproved, date rape drugs. The actual fact of the matter is that women drink themselves into incoherent babbling buffoons just like men do and just like with men they don’t need anyone to “spike the punch” to get them drunk. However, where the similarities between men and women end in this regard is when men and women decide to have sex. If a man has sex with a woman who is drunk he is either taking advantage of her or, according to feminists, raping her. Doesn’t matter if he is drunk as well. Doesn’t matter if she initiated the sex. None of that matters to those who propagate misandry.

You have sex with an intoxicated woman.

You have a penis.

You’re a rapist.

The truth is it is not socially acceptable for men to “score” with intoxicated women. It is tolerated, sometimes. Innocent men have been imprisoned for sleeping with intoxicated women who woke up without their beer goggles and regretted their decision. I hardly call that social acceptance.

Those who actually understand the concept of personal responsibility realize that you cannot blame someone else for the decisions you make while you are intoxicated. When someone is in an accident and the police discover said person had been drinking, do they ask that person if someone talked them into driving while under the influence or do they arrest them?

They fucking arrest them.

So why is it that in feminist land, which is most of the western world, do we feel the need to imprison men who have had consensual sex with women under the influence of alcohol? When women go to parties or clubs, they drink. They are not coerced and nothing is slipped into their cups. They drink all by themselves and then they dance and then they go home or to a hotel with men. And then they have sex. Where the fuck in this scenario can anyone find cause to claim a rape has occurred? If you are a feminist you will change the subject of the scenario.

She was passed out.

She wasn’t in the right state of mind.

Read that scenario again and tell me where any of those usual sidetracks from the debate are mentioned. That’s right, nowhere. Tell me something, feminists, is it reasonable to assume that men drink at parties and clubs as well? Is it reasonable to assume that both men and women who leave these places together are both under the influence? Of course it is, if you’re not a feminist.

But what about those college men who organize parties and don’t drink as much as the women just so they can talk them into having sex!

Ah the frat boy stereotype. Well I have a few facts to add to that scenario.

1. The women who attend these parties are all aware that alcohol will be present.

2. No one forces these women to drink.

3. Because of the constant mentioning of these types of parties through parents, television, and film nearly everyone knows of the reasons behind these parties before their first day of high school.

4. This is the more important fact, no one forces these women to drink. Oh wait I already typed that…oh well it looks cool in bold.

Women who attend these parties do so of their own free will, drink at their own free will, and have consensual sex. In many cases they initiate this consensual sex. Now if you were able to spot a rape in that scenario then congratulations, you’re a feminist.

The problem with our society is not that it doesn’t view consensual sex as rape, because it does. The problem is that certain people continue to propagate that consensual sex, such as sex while intoxicated, isn’t consensual. The men who “admit to rape” as long as it is not called rape are admitting to a double standard our society holds. That double standard is if a man has sex with a woman and she regrets it days, months, or years later that man is a rapist. That double standard is if a man, whether he is intoxicated or not, has consensual sex with a woman that is intoxicated, he is a rapist and the reverse is not true. While these are unfair double standards I don’t feel the solution is to simply view sober women who have sex with intoxicated men as rapists either. Trying to classify intoxicated sex as rape with any gender is simply a case of ideologues trying to force their views on society.

The second thing Godlessaltruist mentions in his reasons we live in a rape culture is the acceptance of rape jokes. Let’s set aside the fact that most rape jokes are at the expense of men, which would fly in the face of a rape culture being a culture that encourages the rape of women, and think about this for a moment. We have murder jokes, theft jokes, assault jokes, suicide jokes, genocide jokes, fat jokes, racial jokes, and an assortment of other jokes that have made many comedians famous over the years. Several of these comedians are loved and heralded as role models and good Samaritans. I think it’s safe to say that we don’t live in a society that encourages murder. But we still have murder jokes. There are many dark comedies out there and serious dramas that display the murdering of others as comical.

And we laugh.

Because within the context of the story or the joke and the way it is presented it produces humor, whether we want it to or not. It is a human reaction, an involuntary human reaction. There are things about us humans that cannot be changed. That is where many who propagate that everything about us is a social construct fall short. But back to the point, rape isn’t funny. But a joke about rape can be funny. That doesn’t mean those who make the joke or those who laugh at it support rape and it most certainly does not mean that because someone finds a rape joke funny, their brain rationalizes away the morality of not raping someone.

We do not live in a rape culture. Just over a century ago it was legal, legal for a man to be murdered on the accusation of rape. It is still socially acceptable for someone to be murdered based on an accusation. People do not accept the murder of someone who does something they support. Furthermore rape is seen to many as the worst thing anyone could endure.

Bullshit.

As I type this there are horrible things being done to people in which rape pales in comparison. I have seen things done to people that if given the chance, the victim would beg to be raped instead of suffer what they knew was to come. Yet in our “rape encouraging society” rape is viewed as the most horrid thing in the world. Give me a fucking break.

The contributors of this blog, so far, have shown no interest in addressing male issues honestly. Instead they are doing exactly what I predicted they would do before I read this latest watered down version of feminism disguised as men’s rights from Godlessaltruist. They are pushing feminist ideology under the guise of men’s rights. They are ignoring the fact that the discrimination against men they claim to oppose has been caused directly and indirectly by feminism. The worst part of it all is they are attempting to shift the blame for that discrimination from feminism. Finally, they are pushing feminist propaganda such as rape culture while trying to hide the blame this feminist theory places on men.

The author explains his end goal very clearly with his article. This end goal is of course, the end goal of feminism.

Control.

The end goal is to label all forms of consensual sex that don’t meet with feminist approval as rape. The end goal is to decide what people will view as socially acceptable whether they feel it is right or not. For a movement that claims to be about fighting societal constructs, creating a new one doesn’t seem like the best way to go about it.

A good example of the blatant hypocrisy of proposing that everyone should view men who have consensual sex with intoxicated women with scorn is the societal view of abortion. Whether you want to believe fetus or baby at whatever time during a pregnancy, some feminists view it as fetus all the way through and feel that an abortion should be legal right up to before a woman goes into labor. Their reason? Her body her choice. I actually agree with this. Not the bit about an abortion taking place moments before a woman goes into labor but I do agree that an abortion before a fetus takes on the form of a human being should be solely up to women. But let’s examine this for a moment. There are women who have abortions when the fetus is a living being with a heartbeat. This is sickening to those who aren’t feminists but to feminists it’s just fine. No moral wrongdoing here, just a fetus. However, if a man has sex with a woman that has been drinking then OH MY GOD ARREST THAT RAPIST.

I don’t like thought police and feminists run the station.

Godlessaltruist ends his article with a note.

Note: For the purposes of this blog, I have focused on situations in which rape victims are women, and rapists are men.  I do, however, understand that it can go the other direction, and that both victims and perpetrators can be either male or female.  The reason for this specific focus is because I am responding to those who give safety tips to women in order to supposedly prevent them from being raped by men.  This is the focus of the public dialogue on this topic, and I am responding to this public perception of the problem.  They have chosen to specifically focus on situations of male attackers and female victims, and so I focus my discussion on that specific scenario.

The disclaimer makes sense. Those making the argument that women should take responsibility for their actions are speaking under the scenario that involves male attackers. But bringing rape culture into the argument voids the disclaimer. Rape culture, the misandric feminist theory, is a culture in which the rape of women is encouraged. That takes female rapists out of the equation and the argument against those who feel women are grown adults who should take responsibility for their own actions falls apart.

Rapists are the only ones who should be held responsible for their attacks. Not their victims. However, giving women advice to avoid criminals and ensure their safety is not the same as blaming them for being raped.

The small percent of women who do pass out because of too much alcohol and are raped could have avoided the situation if they didn’t drink until they were unconscious. Pointing this out is not the same as blaming the victim. It is the same thing as telling someone that driving sober is a good way to avoid killing someone with their vehicle. It is advice not blame.

This is the last article I plan to write about Ozymandias’s site. I am not a hypocritical weasel bent on running a smear campaign by using the opinions of other individuals to paint an entire movement, like Futrelle. That being said, every opinion about the creators and contributors of NSWATM listed here are my opinions and my opinions alone. In short, don’t take my word for it. If you happen to stumble across the blog go ahead and read the articles for yourself. You might find some advocacy for the rights of men by clicking on one or two of the links in their blog roll. But the website itself?

I don’t think so.

It’s disheartening, because I wish all of this bullshit could be resolved. However, the only instances of feminists actually calling out the bigotry within their movement I know of consists of those feminists being vilified and eventually dropping their titles as feminists. It happened to Christina Sommers, Warren Farrell, and many others. It would be so easy for these feminists that claim to care about and want to shed light on male issues to actually shed light on male issues. Instead we get half-baked attempts to quell the growing protest against bigotry influenced by feminism.

The way I see it, the What about teh menz blog will just be something feminists can point at and say “look we talk about male issues!” when someone realizes that men suffer because of feminism. The article itself, Who cares about men’s rights, written by Ozymandias was a reactionary response to all of the scorn feminism is taking because of the lie that feminism is a movement that helps with both male and female issues. In my opinion the article and the website are a smokescreen.

If feminists would only just admit that things like VAWA do a lot more harm than good then there would be a middle ground where the opposing side of this “gender war” nonsense could meet and maybe discuss the creation of a Violence Against People Act. If feminists would stop creating theory after theory that blames men for the problems of women then things could begin to change. Like I say on my explanation page, I have allied myself with MRAs. Not because I have some grudge with women, but because I realize the harm feminism has done to men, women, and society in general. I didn’t come to this realization from reading MRA material either. I wasn’t burned by an ex-girlfriend and I have never been married so there is no lengthy divorce battle. I don’t have any kids so there is no resentment because of child support payments.

Let me tell you why I chose to oppose feminism. I am an African American man. For over a century my race has been discriminated against in the United States, after they were freed from slavery. That discrimination still happens today in many areas, especially the areas where I grew up. It’s unavoidable and I don’t really consider it that big of a problem. People are going to think and feel the way they want to and trying to force them to think, feel, or live a certain way is worse than racism. However, the first time I experienced discrimination wasn’t because of my color it was because of my sex. The very first time I knew what it was like to feel discriminated against didn’t come from some white cop pulling me over because I was “driving in the wrong neighborhood” or from some guy claiming my “kind” are taking away all of the jobs.

Nope.

It was because I got into an argument with a woman who believed that men sometimes deserve to be slapped or hit by women. You know, because we say the wrong thing about a woman’s weight or some bullshit like that. The woman’s supervisor overheard us arguing, she didn’t know what the argument was about but heard her employee shouting at me and decided to tell my supervisors. My supervisors came to me and told me that I was not to even cross the path of the woman I argued with, lest I risk being brought up on sexual harassment charges.

I didn’t know anything about men’s rights, feminism, or any of this shit back then. I just felt discriminated against. I felt something was wrong and I decided to find out why. What I found didn’t impress me.

So when feminists finally decide to stop trying to shift the blame for what has happened to men in this society from feminism, and start actively challenging the misandry within their movement, then people, besides feminists and their supporters, will start taking a feminist approach towards solving male issues seriously.

But that will never happen.

Hell. I bet spellcheckers will finally start registering misandry as a word before feminists challenge the misandry within their movement.

14 thoughts on “Again with the “rape culture”

  1. I don’t know how you have the patience to dissect this so exhaustively, at such great length.

    I am more interested in drop-kicking feminism clear the hell out of civilization altogether. And for that, economy of motion is the way to go.

    • I think it’s do to my ability to extract bits that I need and articulate my feelings on the fly rather than patience. It also helps that I’ve heard the rape culture bullshit before, several times and know it inside and out. Trying to dress it up as men’s rights advocacy, as Godlessatruist did, won’t work on me.

      I’m with you on the whole ridding this world of feminism but it will never be completely gone. I feel that the day when we all can wake up and watch the media cover feminism in the same way they cover neo-nazis, the world will be a better place.

      Not to mention that will be a good fucking day.

      Oh and thanks for stopping by my blog.

  2. To put that another way, I don’t want to jump into the mosh pit and mud-wrestle with the pig. I want to lasso the pig, load it into a catapult, and “let ‘er rip!”

  3. Pingback: One accusation | A Voice for Men

  4. You know, someone should start a “womanboobz” blog which is entirely focused on extracting and revealing the misandry on the manboobz blog. That would be quite funny.

  5. Pingback: One accusation « A Voice for Men

  6. Wow, man. You run a great blog here.

    Very clean,concise and professional.

    I hate to quibble, but I’ve seen feminists mention “rape jokes”,and here you speak of “rape jokes” as though you had some acquaintance with them, but to be perfectly honest, I have never seen anyone tell a joke about rape in my entire life-and that’s nearly 30 years-and I mostly hang out with people who would not think twice about breaking someone’s nose for looking at them wrong.

    The next time I see a feminist discussing “rape jokes”, I think I’ll ask them to tell me one and see where that goes.

    I’m not saying there aren’t any, people have joked about anything and everything, but I will say I have never heard a rape joke and I bet most feminists who use them to fabricate a “rape culture” from whole cloth haven’t either.

  7. good article. I do have issue with one part. You brought up the issue of paternity leave. Women demand reimbursement for paternity leave, but unfortunately since we live in a capitalistic society, employers are to favor employees that are available more often. Personally I think the only solution for this is to offer equal paternity leave for men. If you only offer paternity leave for women, you’re effectively engaging in discrimination. The bottom line is, employers will only hire people who make the money. If you have an employee that gets sick a lot, takes a lot of vacation, or gets pregnant all the time, they’re going to a void hiring them.

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